Space force

Man breaks into Space Force base to warn of alien-dragon war

Since the creation of the Space Force in 2019, the question has persisted as to what exactly it does.

One would certainly hope that the branch would be heavily involved in a theoretical battle between aliens and dragons in space. The event that apparently a helpful citizen was trying to notify the Space Force of last week.

At Patrick Space Force Base, 29-year-old Corey Johnson was arrested for attempting to enter the facility. The reason? According to what he told the officers who arrested him, he was there on behalf of the President to alert the Space Force that there were “American aliens fighting with Chinese dragons.”

According to, Johnson had stolen a vehicle several days before his attempt to enter the Space Force facility, which is in charge of satellite launch operations on the US East Coast and presumably does not fight dragons ( or extraterrestrials) in space.

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Johnson was arrested trying to enter the base after his mission was thwarted by law enforcement.

Being the proverbial new kid on the block when it comes to branches, the Space Force is sure to get a lot of attention. It’s hard not to notice that the Space Force rank insignia looks a lot like star trekbut the uniforms seem to be part of Star Wars’ Galactic Empire. And then there’s Space Force’s birthday, which was celebrated with a cake as dark and empty as the endless expanses of space itself. Or the fact that the branch with what might be the most complicated mission of all – operating in space – cannot understand the pants, a technology that dates back over 2,000 years. But they are working on it.

In theory, Space Force’s job is to “organize, train, equip, and provide forces and capabilities” for U.S. Space Command and other Unified Combatant Commands as required. And it is an important mission.

Communication, intelligence, navigation and missile launch warnings all rely on satellites, which the Space Force is responsible for operating. The branch even wants to start monitoring the space between the Earth and the Moon, creating a sort of interplanetary highway patrol without sending Erik Estrada into space.

So, for any other citizens looking for civic engagement, chances are the Space Force is already aware of any alien dragon engagements taking place in orbit. And if anyone thinks the Space Force has brought this intrusion upon itself by existing in Florida Man Country, well, it’s a good thing the branch intends to move its headquarters to Alabama, where nothing such could never happen.

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